For a couple days now, I have had this "feeling" that what I was eating wasn't what I was SUPPOSED to eat. (That's why I haven't posted.) Which is interesting, because I am eating the same food that I have been for the past 8 weeks. Funny how, when you start a journey, the feeling or attitude about that journey is a "Lets go get 'em!" kind of attitude. Then, soon after starting, you start getting these feelings of doubt or fear that it isn't working. It is similar to how I was feeling when I was in the "learning" part of this journey, before I actually started.
All the information I have received from past diets is still ingrained in me. Count the calories, measure my food, low/no fat. I HATE counting calories. I HATE measuring/weighing my food. And I HATE the taste of low/no fat food. (Not to mention it is PACKED with things that are NOT good for you.) When I started reading the WOW book, I had SO many questions come up. "How can I lose weight eating bread? Bread is BAD!", "I have been eating all this food that it talks about, but I haven't lost weight. Why?", "I'm just not understanding how this is going to work." Then my sister said, "You are over thinking it." She was right, I was over thinking it. So, I stopped over thinking it and just started to buy the whole grains and not buying anymore of the sugar packed stuff.
Doubt can be used as an evil tool. It is very powerful. For some reason, it has crept back into my thoughts. I'm not happy about it, but I know WHY it has come. I know now, more than ever, that THIS is EXACTLY what I should be doing. Doubt usually rears its ugly head when you are doing the things that you are supposed to be doing, and the WAY you are supposed to be doing it. Trials are a part of this life. My oldest daughter has this TERRIBLE skin condition on the bottoms of her feet that leave them cracked and, sometimes, bleeding. I don't know what triggers it. We haven't found a "cure all" for it. This is her trial. This is something that she needs to learn to control and take care of in times of flare up. This journey is the rope I have thrown myself to get me out of the hole I have dug for myself. I just need to keep the faith that the rope will stay in one piece. Every whisper of doubt that I succumb to with fear and confusion will be the rats that eat away at my rope. I WILL fail if that happens....and I can NOT fail!
Friday, August 29, 2014
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
"Stop It"
This is something that is VERY important to me. How would my life have been different if I had someone put their arm around me and listen, or something as simple as apologize? You have no idea how it feels until you are the one. The pain is suffocating.
I would say about 95% of "teasing" toward me was not taken as "teasing". It ALL hurt. Imagine how we can save a soul or even a life if we just "Stop It".
I would say about 95% of "teasing" toward me was not taken as "teasing". It ALL hurt. Imagine how we can save a soul or even a life if we just "Stop It".
Monday, August 25, 2014
Motivation
Last night I came to the conclusion that I would skip my Monday morning walk. My exercise clothes where buried in the piles of laundry that were stacked in front of my dresser, as well as my girls exercise clothes. (I take my girls with me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for morning walks. They didn't know my decision because they had already gone to bed.) I didn't want to have to dig through the clothes at 6 o'clock in the morning. I then had the thought that I could sleep in and be well rested for the school day ahead if I were to skip my walk. My son had a different idea.
He walked into our room at 5:30 this morning and climbed into bed with me. He then continued to toss and turn, tap my ear, snuggle his face in mine, and tickle my nose with his hair. I didn't get to sleep in. I got up and when I came out of the bathroom, the bed was made with the laundry on the bed. I started to sort the clothes as my youngest daughter came in to grab her exercise clothes. Ready and awake, excited to go for a walk. How could I NOT go for a walk today?! My children are my biggest motivators. I had made the decision the night before, but seeing their faces this morning made me feel like I would be letting them down if I didn't go for our morning walk. I didn't have the heart to tell them that we weren't going. I quickly got dressed and, even though we left a half hour later than normal therefore only going half our distance, we still went and it was GLORIOUS! A little on the cool side, but glorious! I LOVE my morning walks with my girls. It is our time to talk and spend time together that isn't school related. And I am SO proud of them for sticking with this new way of living.
He walked into our room at 5:30 this morning and climbed into bed with me. He then continued to toss and turn, tap my ear, snuggle his face in mine, and tickle my nose with his hair. I didn't get to sleep in. I got up and when I came out of the bathroom, the bed was made with the laundry on the bed. I started to sort the clothes as my youngest daughter came in to grab her exercise clothes. Ready and awake, excited to go for a walk. How could I NOT go for a walk today?! My children are my biggest motivators. I had made the decision the night before, but seeing their faces this morning made me feel like I would be letting them down if I didn't go for our morning walk. I didn't have the heart to tell them that we weren't going. I quickly got dressed and, even though we left a half hour later than normal therefore only going half our distance, we still went and it was GLORIOUS! A little on the cool side, but glorious! I LOVE my morning walks with my girls. It is our time to talk and spend time together that isn't school related. And I am SO proud of them for sticking with this new way of living.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Not Any More
There was a time that I used to CRAVE the things that aren't good. I would crave a good ol' Snickers bar, a bag of M&M's, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, or a milk shake from my favorite shake makers (*sigh* Iceberg, how I miss thee).
Halloween is dawning upon us. I realized this when I went to the store today and there it was, the aisle of everlasting toothache. Remembering back to last year, my mom and I would buy the good stuff for us to eat while we would hand out the not so good stuff to the trick-or-treaters. You know, the gum that loses it's flavor after about a minute and then turns to cold rubber in your mouth. We probably would have already bought some to "snack" on this far out from Halloween. Then, after the kids came home from trick-or-treating, I would go through and throw away the stuff that my kids wouldn't eat, occasionally putting some of the good stuff aside for me, and my mom sitting there watching me and occasionally snatching some for her. (WOW! I was pathetic! Admitting this is SO embarrassing and FAR out of my comfort zone.)
I am proud to admit that I walked down that aisle today with NO twinge of desire. In fact, I had more of an overpowering urge of disgust and, quite possibly, a sympathetic onset of a tummy ache. I even caught myself wrinkling my nose and holding my breath as if it had a stench. Quite different from times past.
I have a decision to make this year. I'm not exactly sure what I am going to do with all the junk my kids come home with this year. In the past, they have had 3 days of trick-or-treating: Spencer's work, our ward Trunk-or-Treat, and then going around our neighborhood. They get about 3 buckets full of candy EACH from Spencer's work, 1 bucket full each from the ward, and about 1 1/2 buckets full from the neighborhood. (We don't let them go long because it is usually cold and they get tired FAST!) I then sort through the candy and put aside the gross stuff to hand out at the door or throw away at the end of the night. (Come on! Who doesn't!?) One thing I DO know for sure, I will NOT eat any of the candy. There is just NO desire. Not any more. I am starting to see the same reaction in my girls. And, yes, it is VERY comforting.
Halloween is dawning upon us. I realized this when I went to the store today and there it was, the aisle of everlasting toothache. Remembering back to last year, my mom and I would buy the good stuff for us to eat while we would hand out the not so good stuff to the trick-or-treaters. You know, the gum that loses it's flavor after about a minute and then turns to cold rubber in your mouth. We probably would have already bought some to "snack" on this far out from Halloween. Then, after the kids came home from trick-or-treating, I would go through and throw away the stuff that my kids wouldn't eat, occasionally putting some of the good stuff aside for me, and my mom sitting there watching me and occasionally snatching some for her. (WOW! I was pathetic! Admitting this is SO embarrassing and FAR out of my comfort zone.)
I am proud to admit that I walked down that aisle today with NO twinge of desire. In fact, I had more of an overpowering urge of disgust and, quite possibly, a sympathetic onset of a tummy ache. I even caught myself wrinkling my nose and holding my breath as if it had a stench. Quite different from times past.
I have a decision to make this year. I'm not exactly sure what I am going to do with all the junk my kids come home with this year. In the past, they have had 3 days of trick-or-treating: Spencer's work, our ward Trunk-or-Treat, and then going around our neighborhood. They get about 3 buckets full of candy EACH from Spencer's work, 1 bucket full each from the ward, and about 1 1/2 buckets full from the neighborhood. (We don't let them go long because it is usually cold and they get tired FAST!) I then sort through the candy and put aside the gross stuff to hand out at the door or throw away at the end of the night. (Come on! Who doesn't!?) One thing I DO know for sure, I will NOT eat any of the candy. There is just NO desire. Not any more. I am starting to see the same reaction in my girls. And, yes, it is VERY comforting.
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Seeing the GOOD
A couple weeks ago I went to a retreat here in Denver for Essential Oils. It was an awesome 24 hours. One thing they talked about was personality types. I had no idea what type I was! I felt like that this was something I needed to do. This goes back to the question, "Who am I?"
It is interesting to me that people tend to guess what kind of personality type others/I am: white, circle, type 2, etc etc. Then when I ask them what it means, the description I get is NOTHING like me. It has always intrigued me to find out what type I was, but I've never taken the time to sit down and figure it out. AND WHERE can I figure it out? (I'm one of those, "Ask me questions and I will answer them." kind of people.) I see people post how proud they are to be an "introvert" and I think to myself, "What IS an introvert?" Finding out what personality type I am, to me, is the first step to figuring out WHO I am. So, I found this test online. I liked it, it wasn't too long and the description I got seems pretty spot on. This is what I got:
Extraverted Feeling personality types seek continuity through harmonious relationships and collective values. They excel at picking up on the tone of a situation and acting accordingly, adding warmth to a cool setting or turning sour into sweet.
Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded.
Harmony comes from good, supportive relationships and upholding collective values. They are always focused on the other person, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their help and assistance wherever necessary.
They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is.
It is well to note that extraverted feeling types will uphold a wide range of values, simply because shared values are what create harmony. Some will profess the importance of tough-minded logic, justice and scholarly debate because their environments have these shared values. They tend to adopt the collective values of those they love and 'belong to'.
I've always dwelt on the negatives, "This type is the pushover.", "This type is bossy.", but it is refreshing to actually SEE the positives and recognize them in myself. When I get asked what my best qualities are, I always look to my friends and family to answer. I've never known my best qualities because, growing up, I never was told anything positive about me. Somehow, I always felt like I was being prideful if I started to think of the good in me. How does that happen??!! Where a person can't see the good in themselves because of feeling like they don't deserve to see it, or that it is wrong to see it.
I told myself, that when I became a mother, I would tell my children everyday how much I love them and that I would tell them all the good I see in them and also let them know that I believe in them. I didn't want them to turn out like me, with nothing but self doubt and zero self esteem. I LOVE my children. So much so my heart aches from it being so full of love for them. They are my world and my light. They are each SO different, which is awesome because it keeps me on my toes. It is my responsibility to teach them to see the good in themselves and others. This way, when they are asked what their best quality is, they can say without hesitation and without having to look at others. After all, the good in us IS what shapes our personalities.
It is interesting to me that people tend to guess what kind of personality type others/I am: white, circle, type 2, etc etc. Then when I ask them what it means, the description I get is NOTHING like me. It has always intrigued me to find out what type I was, but I've never taken the time to sit down and figure it out. AND WHERE can I figure it out? (I'm one of those, "Ask me questions and I will answer them." kind of people.) I see people post how proud they are to be an "introvert" and I think to myself, "What IS an introvert?" Finding out what personality type I am, to me, is the first step to figuring out WHO I am. So, I found this test online. I liked it, it wasn't too long and the description I got seems pretty spot on. This is what I got:
Extraverted Feeling personality types seek continuity through harmonious relationships and collective values. They excel at picking up on the tone of a situation and acting accordingly, adding warmth to a cool setting or turning sour into sweet.
Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded.
Harmony comes from good, supportive relationships and upholding collective values. They are always focused on the other person, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their help and assistance wherever necessary.
They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is.
It is well to note that extraverted feeling types will uphold a wide range of values, simply because shared values are what create harmony. Some will profess the importance of tough-minded logic, justice and scholarly debate because their environments have these shared values. They tend to adopt the collective values of those they love and 'belong to'.
I've always dwelt on the negatives, "This type is the pushover.", "This type is bossy.", but it is refreshing to actually SEE the positives and recognize them in myself. When I get asked what my best qualities are, I always look to my friends and family to answer. I've never known my best qualities because, growing up, I never was told anything positive about me. Somehow, I always felt like I was being prideful if I started to think of the good in me. How does that happen??!! Where a person can't see the good in themselves because of feeling like they don't deserve to see it, or that it is wrong to see it.
I told myself, that when I became a mother, I would tell my children everyday how much I love them and that I would tell them all the good I see in them and also let them know that I believe in them. I didn't want them to turn out like me, with nothing but self doubt and zero self esteem. I LOVE my children. So much so my heart aches from it being so full of love for them. They are my world and my light. They are each SO different, which is awesome because it keeps me on my toes. It is my responsibility to teach them to see the good in themselves and others. This way, when they are asked what their best quality is, they can say without hesitation and without having to look at others. After all, the good in us IS what shapes our personalities.
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
Beauty Sleep
It has always been a saying delivered in a joking matter, "Leave me alone, I need my beauty sleep.", "Don't bug mommy, she needs her beauty sleep.", "Time for bed, I need my beauty sleep.". But, have we actually paused to think and realize that, even though said in a sarcastic or joking tone, it is in fact TRUE?
Last night I was determined to go to bed by 9 PM because I was EXHAUSTED having been woken up at 5 AM by our 3 year old. I didn't go to bed at 9 like I had planned. Instead I made it to bed a little after 10. The difference an hour would have made became apparent to me as I woke up with him holding my arm at 1 AM this morning. My husband quickly put him back in his bed, but I continued to wake up every half hour or so thinking that he had ventured into our room again, or that he was wondering the house.
In addition to eating more healthy and exercising, we also need to realize that without adequate sleep the previous two are pretty much moot. I know that kids make it difficult to get that "beauty sleep" that we, as parents, are really in desperate need of. The way we take care of ourselves plays a vital part in, not only our physical needs, but also our mental needs. When I don't get enough sleep, I am down right ornery. My husband can't even talk when he hasn't gotten enough sleep, it is actually quite comical. When people give their kids too much sugar, they quite literally bounce off the walls!
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have been taught through scripture and leaders that I should retire to my bed early and arise early (D&C 88:124), and that I shouldn't run faster than I have strength (D&C 10:4). Nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are vital in having a healthy body, mind, spirit, and life. The lesson I have learned from all this is that I should have gone to bed at 9 last night instead of staying up, barely keeping my eyes open, just to watch a movie I have seen a few times before. If I had, I would have had 4 hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep instead of 3 and I probably would be more awake than I am now.
Last night I was determined to go to bed by 9 PM because I was EXHAUSTED having been woken up at 5 AM by our 3 year old. I didn't go to bed at 9 like I had planned. Instead I made it to bed a little after 10. The difference an hour would have made became apparent to me as I woke up with him holding my arm at 1 AM this morning. My husband quickly put him back in his bed, but I continued to wake up every half hour or so thinking that he had ventured into our room again, or that he was wondering the house.
In addition to eating more healthy and exercising, we also need to realize that without adequate sleep the previous two are pretty much moot. I know that kids make it difficult to get that "beauty sleep" that we, as parents, are really in desperate need of. The way we take care of ourselves plays a vital part in, not only our physical needs, but also our mental needs. When I don't get enough sleep, I am down right ornery. My husband can't even talk when he hasn't gotten enough sleep, it is actually quite comical. When people give their kids too much sugar, they quite literally bounce off the walls!
As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, I have been taught through scripture and leaders that I should retire to my bed early and arise early (D&C 88:124), and that I shouldn't run faster than I have strength (D&C 10:4). Nutrition, regular exercise, and adequate sleep are vital in having a healthy body, mind, spirit, and life. The lesson I have learned from all this is that I should have gone to bed at 9 last night instead of staying up, barely keeping my eyes open, just to watch a movie I have seen a few times before. If I had, I would have had 4 hours of blissful, uninterrupted sleep instead of 3 and I probably would be more awake than I am now.
Monday, August 18, 2014
Pleasant Surprises
As I stepped on the scale this morning I was expecting a gain. I even told my husband, "I'm expecting a gain." and then I laughed. He just smiled at me and watched my total bewilderment when I saw the numbers on the scale and walked over to where I write them down and saw that I LOST 2 pounds! I LOVE pleasant surprises! It happened again as I wrapped the tape measure around my belly for the forth time and asked him what the number said. Needless to say, today has been a great day for this journey. I'm very happy with the results! I stayed pretty true to the new way of eating over the weekend even though we spent the day at Elich Gardens on Friday and had a smorgasbord of UNBELIEVABLE Filipino food my sister-in-law cooked for us. Can I just say, OH...MY..GOSH!!! It really was hard to stop eating it.
I was all set to post a "Setbacks" post today, but now I have to turn it all around. Funny how, even though we are happy and life seems good, we tend to expect the negatives instead of hoping for the positive. Just like this morning before my walk, I weighed myself expecting a gain, but I lost. Life is full of little negatives such as that. They are minor, but play a significant part in how we look at things and how we think for the day. The smallest little negative thought or saying can shape our day or our lives into something that we weren't destined to do or be.
Today is the first day of school for my girls. (We home school.) I wake them up at 6 to go for walks with me. We walk for 2 miles and it takes us about 30-35 minutes. My oldest asked me this morning, "How can you walk so fast?". I told her that, if you continue to think "How much longer?", "Why so fast?", "I wish I was done." then it will hold you back. I then replied, "My legs are tired too. I'm tired too, but I'm not thinking about those things. Think about things that keep your mind off of how tired you are and before you know it, we will be home." (Our son woke us up at 5 this morning. Yes, I was tired.) Keeping the focus positive will help you to enjoy those pleasant surprises more. Then you aren't asking yourself, "How did that happen?!"
This was from our morning walk. What a beautiful start to what I'm choosing to be a good day. After all, I did get some pleasant surprises today. ;)
I was all set to post a "Setbacks" post today, but now I have to turn it all around. Funny how, even though we are happy and life seems good, we tend to expect the negatives instead of hoping for the positive. Just like this morning before my walk, I weighed myself expecting a gain, but I lost. Life is full of little negatives such as that. They are minor, but play a significant part in how we look at things and how we think for the day. The smallest little negative thought or saying can shape our day or our lives into something that we weren't destined to do or be.
Today is the first day of school for my girls. (We home school.) I wake them up at 6 to go for walks with me. We walk for 2 miles and it takes us about 30-35 minutes. My oldest asked me this morning, "How can you walk so fast?". I told her that, if you continue to think "How much longer?", "Why so fast?", "I wish I was done." then it will hold you back. I then replied, "My legs are tired too. I'm tired too, but I'm not thinking about those things. Think about things that keep your mind off of how tired you are and before you know it, we will be home." (Our son woke us up at 5 this morning. Yes, I was tired.) Keeping the focus positive will help you to enjoy those pleasant surprises more. Then you aren't asking yourself, "How did that happen?!"
This was from our morning walk. What a beautiful start to what I'm choosing to be a good day. After all, I did get some pleasant surprises today. ;)
Thursday, August 14, 2014
Chickpea Salad Sandwiches
We had an AMAZING lunch today! I found this recipe for making a chickpea salad for sandwiches instead of chicken. It was SO GOOD! Even my brother liked it!! ;) Anyway, I thought I would share the love since I DID mention I would put recipes on this blog. This is the link to the recipe,
Vegetarian Chickpea Sandwich Filling
I didn't have any lemons so, I just added a touch of red wine vinegar. I also added chopped up red radishes to the mix. I think I am going to have to buy some canned chickpeas in bulk so that I can have this salad on hand. I think it has become a household favorite. ENJOY!
Vegetarian Chickpea Sandwich Filling
I didn't have any lemons so, I just added a touch of red wine vinegar. I also added chopped up red radishes to the mix. I think I am going to have to buy some canned chickpeas in bulk so that I can have this salad on hand. I think it has become a household favorite. ENJOY!
Wednesday, August 13, 2014
Planning
I LOVE to cook! Every time we have company from out of town, or friends over for dinner, I go to great lengths in making sure that they eat well. I want them to feel special, like kings and queens. So, this is what I do. I sit down and PLAN. I plan a menu. A full blown menu down to what we are going to drink, which is always water but you can never be too prepared. ;) I usually don't plan a menu for just us because I go by a day to day inventory of what needs to be eaten. When people are here, I typically make things that I normally wouldn't unless it was a really special occasion. And let's face it, having company over is a very special occasion in the Schumann home.
My brother and sister-in-law are coming tonight to surprise our kids. They will be staying until Sunday and I have a menu. My sister-in-law is from the Philippines. She is this tiny cute little Filipino that LOVES and MISSES her Filipino food. I wanted to do something awesome for her so I have planned a Filipino feast. Not really a feast by her standards because I can't roast a whole pig in my backyard, but it is a feast by my standards. This will be the "splurging" meal of the week. The other meals will continue to be the whole foods way of eating. This is my menu:
Thursday:
The point of this post is this, I'm not going to throw the rules out the window while people I love are eating in my home. It is because I love them, that I will no longer do that. The benefits of eating, LIVING this way FAR out number the "convenience" of not. Besides, what part of packing up your family and going to a fast food place only to wait in a long line of cars to just get your "food" and it being completely wrong AND cold is convenient? If you cook big batches of wheat berries and freeze them, NOTHING can be more convenient than pulling them out and putting them in the microwave for 1 minute, to take the chill off, and adding veggies and dressing. NOTHING could be more healthy, filling, AND sustaining either.
My brother and sister-in-law are coming tonight to surprise our kids. They will be staying until Sunday and I have a menu. My sister-in-law is from the Philippines. She is this tiny cute little Filipino that LOVES and MISSES her Filipino food. I wanted to do something awesome for her so I have planned a Filipino feast. Not really a feast by her standards because I can't roast a whole pig in my backyard, but it is a feast by my standards. This will be the "splurging" meal of the week. The other meals will continue to be the whole foods way of eating. This is my menu:
Thursday:
- Breakfast- Veggie breakfast burritos (cheese, eggs, avocados, sour cream, whole wheat tortillas, salsa, and tomatoes)
- Lunch- Garbanzo bean salad sandwiches. (I will post recipe later if it is any good.)
- Dinner- Cabbage and potatoes with Kielbasa (Oh, how I love to say that word. "Kielbasaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh" and OH my is it tasty.)
- Breakfast- Fresh fruit, yogurt, and homemade granola
- Lunch and dinner- We are going to go to Elich Gardens, the local theme and water park so we will be getting our own food. BUT I plan on having a veggie wrap with fruit for one of my meals.
- Breakfast- Wheat berry cereal (I usually have this warmed with milk, honey, cinnamon, and then fresh fruit)
- Lunch- Garden salad with Mediterranean bruschetta
- Dinner- Filipino feast! Lumpia (little spring rolls that I'm planning on attempting to bake instead of fry, wish me luck), Pancit (rice noodles with veggies), and Fried rice
- Dessert- Sago (Tapioca pearls cooked in coconut milk with mango puree)
- Breakfast- Crock pot oatmeal with peaches.
The point of this post is this, I'm not going to throw the rules out the window while people I love are eating in my home. It is because I love them, that I will no longer do that. The benefits of eating, LIVING this way FAR out number the "convenience" of not. Besides, what part of packing up your family and going to a fast food place only to wait in a long line of cars to just get your "food" and it being completely wrong AND cold is convenient? If you cook big batches of wheat berries and freeze them, NOTHING can be more convenient than pulling them out and putting them in the microwave for 1 minute, to take the chill off, and adding veggies and dressing. NOTHING could be more healthy, filling, AND sustaining either.
Tuesday, August 12, 2014
Old Habits Die Hard
In the past, when I would have a bad day, I would turn to food. A pint of ice cream (Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby was a MUST, until they changed their recipe) would often console me in times of despair. Anything that would bring me an ounce of comfort would be my go to. It is no wonder that I have struggled with my weight, being diagnosed with severe depression when I was in Jr High and, as mentioned earlier, dealing with constant berating from peers and family. Food was my drug of choice. That's all I knew. That's all I had to turn to.
Yesterday was a bad, but eye opening day. I came home feeling defeated and went to the fridge to fix me something to eat, I hadn't had dinner yet. The family had eaten and I could have eaten the leftovers that my husband was going to take to work, but I didn't. I didn't want to fix anything because, like I said, I felt defeated. I caught myself thinking, "Some ice cream would be so good right now. Or nachos. Or mozzarella sticks.". There it was. That NASTY, DIRTY, STUPID habit of turning to food to seek comfort. That little devil putting the thoughts in my head to make me stray from what I know to be right. Instead, I didn't eat dinner. I know that wasn't the BEST decision, but it was better than hopping in the car and going to the closest fast food joint that is also across the street from a grocery store in which lies Ben and Jerry. I also was able to talk it out along with a lot of tears. I have to say that as I woke up this morning, I didn't regret my decision, as I often would when I would turn to Ben and Jerry. I was able to snuff that devil out of my head, by simply talking to someone. It is AMAZING the power a willing ear can hold. I hope to be that willing ear someday to someone. I am indebted to the person who was willing to lend their ear. You have helped me more than you can possibly know, thank you!
Disclosure: I am not blaming family and peers for my weight issues. The choices were mine and mine alone.
Yesterday was a bad, but eye opening day. I came home feeling defeated and went to the fridge to fix me something to eat, I hadn't had dinner yet. The family had eaten and I could have eaten the leftovers that my husband was going to take to work, but I didn't. I didn't want to fix anything because, like I said, I felt defeated. I caught myself thinking, "Some ice cream would be so good right now. Or nachos. Or mozzarella sticks.". There it was. That NASTY, DIRTY, STUPID habit of turning to food to seek comfort. That little devil putting the thoughts in my head to make me stray from what I know to be right. Instead, I didn't eat dinner. I know that wasn't the BEST decision, but it was better than hopping in the car and going to the closest fast food joint that is also across the street from a grocery store in which lies Ben and Jerry. I also was able to talk it out along with a lot of tears. I have to say that as I woke up this morning, I didn't regret my decision, as I often would when I would turn to Ben and Jerry. I was able to snuff that devil out of my head, by simply talking to someone. It is AMAZING the power a willing ear can hold. I hope to be that willing ear someday to someone. I am indebted to the person who was willing to lend their ear. You have helped me more than you can possibly know, thank you!
Disclosure: I am not blaming family and peers for my weight issues. The choices were mine and mine alone.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Weigh Day
I weigh every Monday morning before I go walking. I always have this fit of anxiety before I step on the scale. I close my eyes and pray that I've lost something. "PLEASE let me have lost at least .5!" I've always done this when I weigh to check progress. Of course, I feel more doubt than hope. As I open my eyes, after what feels like an eternity standing there, the emotions of either success or failure come in a rush. Today, it was.....SUCCESS! I have, on an average, consistently lost 2 pounds a week by eating this way: more whole grains, legumes, veggies, fruits, and lentils. I still get the fits of anxiety and I'm pretty sure I always will. I know that as I gain muscle, there will be times that my weight will go up. I know that weight fluctuates and that I will have water retention and bloating and that it will show on the scale. I know that I'm not perfect and that I will eat something that isn't accordance with this new lifestyle, but that is ALL OK! The important thing is, that I continue on this path of self discovery and health and not give up. I won't give up! I feel a difference, I SEE a difference. Not only in myself, but my family too. Last night, I had to pick my mom up from the airport and it was during the time I would have made dinner. I remembered that we had some popular brand boxes of rice and beans mixture in our pantry. I told my husband that we could just eat those and so we did. He had it ready when my mom and I got home. It was salty and salty and salty. Did I mention that it was salty? I could barely eat 1/4 cup of it. Last night, I had heart burn something AWFUL! I applied the essential oils I use for heart burn a couple times and I was able to sleep. This morning, when I woke up, I was bloated and sluggish. I IMMEDIATELY blamed the rice and beans. My husband replied, "We haven't needed to worry about bad stuff in our food lately because it all comes from the ground." He was is so right! I'm about 110% sure that the rice and beans mixture had MSG in it. Lesson learned. Now, what do I do with all the packaged processed foods we have?? I'm certain we will NOT be eating them again. As for my weigh day today, HOORAY FOR SUCCESS!!
Saturday, August 9, 2014
Vulnerability
This is such a change for me. In fact, this is NOTHING like me! If you had said to me 2 months ago that I would be writing a blog about my weight loss journey, I would have laughed in your face.
Ever since I got my license, I have weighed "150" pounds. I've been living a lie most of my life. I have always been reserved and private about my weight, very "hush hush", which is completely ridiculous because you can't hide weight, it is out there for everyone to see. I've always either closed my eyes or turned around at the doctor's office when they weighed me. I've never known how much I actually gained with each of my children, this is something that I didn't want to know. And when the doctor would say, "Oh! I see you have gained 11 pounds this last month!", it didn't help me feel better about myself, even though I was growing a human! I think not knowing what I weighed made it easier for me to be oblivious to the fact that I needed to lose the weight because I couldn't put a number on it. It's the proverbial, "If a man does the dishes and the woman doesn't see, did it actually happen?". If I didn't know how much I weighed, then it wasn't real. I couldn't tell myself that I was "X" amount of pounds overweight. It was easier that way.
I am not doing this to be held accountable. I am 35 years old and I would like to think that I can hold myself accountable for my actions. I am putting myself out there! I am making myself vulnerable! Why? Because I need to stop lying to myself and to everyone else and "face the music". I'm tired of being someone I'm not. This isn't just a journey to lose weight, it is a journey to find myself! Who am I?! When was the last time you made yourself that vulnerable?
Ever since I got my license, I have weighed "150" pounds. I've been living a lie most of my life. I have always been reserved and private about my weight, very "hush hush", which is completely ridiculous because you can't hide weight, it is out there for everyone to see. I've always either closed my eyes or turned around at the doctor's office when they weighed me. I've never known how much I actually gained with each of my children, this is something that I didn't want to know. And when the doctor would say, "Oh! I see you have gained 11 pounds this last month!", it didn't help me feel better about myself, even though I was growing a human! I think not knowing what I weighed made it easier for me to be oblivious to the fact that I needed to lose the weight because I couldn't put a number on it. It's the proverbial, "If a man does the dishes and the woman doesn't see, did it actually happen?". If I didn't know how much I weighed, then it wasn't real. I couldn't tell myself that I was "X" amount of pounds overweight. It was easier that way.
I am not doing this to be held accountable. I am 35 years old and I would like to think that I can hold myself accountable for my actions. I am putting myself out there! I am making myself vulnerable! Why? Because I need to stop lying to myself and to everyone else and "face the music". I'm tired of being someone I'm not. This isn't just a journey to lose weight, it is a journey to find myself! Who am I?! When was the last time you made yourself that vulnerable?
Friday, August 8, 2014
Lentil Tacos
I made lentil tacos Wednesday night that were absolutely out of this world AMAZING! My family had the idea for me to post recipes on the blog of some of the food I make. That way, my adoring fans (lol! *wink*) can try them out! You will have to bear with me because I don't measure my seasonings, and usually I just throw things together. The measurements of the seasonings in this recipe are a guess. You will have to adjust as you see fit.
Sauté:
1 onion, chopped
1 bell pepper, chopped
Olive oil
1 bell pepper, chopped
Olive oil
Add to onion and pepper mix:
1 cup brown lentils
2 1/2 cups beef broth
2 1/2 cups beef broth
1 clove garlic, pressed/minced
a pinch of salt and pepper
Cover and simmer 25-30 minutes. (Older lentils take longer, or so I've heard)
Add to lentil mix:
2 cups thawed corn
1 can rinsed black beans
1 tsp cumin
1 can rinsed black beans
1 tsp cumin
1 tsp chili powder
1/8 tsp chipotle powder
1-2 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
Juice of 1/2 lime
Juice of 1/2 lime
Taste and adjust seasonings.
Top with:
Sautéed mushrooms
Shredded cabbage (we used green and purple)
Sour cream
Avocado
Tomato
SHARP Cheddar cheese (this REALLY makes a huge difference)
Green onions
Shredded cabbage (we used green and purple)
Sour cream
Avocado
Tomato
SHARP Cheddar cheese (this REALLY makes a huge difference)
Green onions
I use fresh corn tortillas cooked in a little olive oil and then sprinkled with salt. They really are DIVINE!!! My awesome friends taught me that. This recipe makes a ton! We actually had enough to use for dinner Thursday night. Used the leftovers for a lentil taco salad. That was yummy too! The girls LOVED these. Reed is still getting used to this new lifestyle. I guess I'm going to have to take pictures of my food too. These made up were really quite beautiful. Enjoy everyone!
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Perspective
I have a protein shake every morning for breakfast. (I actually use the doTERRA Trim shake mix that doesn't have any added sugar or artificial sweetener.) When I was in the first week of this new lifestyle, I asked an old wise woman (my sister, hahahaha! Love you Analee!) if she thought the protein shakes would still be OK. She thought that they would probably be OK as long as I eat some fruit, or add fruit to it. I chuckled to myself and PROUDLY told her that (on that particular day) I added strawberries (about 5-6), banana (1 whole), mango (1/2 cup chopped), and pineapple (about 1/4 of a whole) to my shake. Along with a cup of milk, 1 scoop protein powder, 1/2 cup oats, 1 tablespoon chia seeds and a small container of Chobani Greek yogurt. (I like to add the yogurt for more protein instead of more protein powder.) She replied, "HOLY COW!! That's a LOT of food!". I didn't really get it. It didn't seem like a lot of food to me because I was able to drink the entire lot. It only filled the glass 1 1/2 times, what was the big deal? It was funny because I tried to justify it by stating that I only used 1 scoop of powder when 2 scoops are to be used with that much milk, "Well, I only put in one scoop of protein powder." LOL! She replied to me, "Sierra, if you were to actually EAT all that food, instead of blending it up, would you be able to finish it?" The light went on in my head. I had been making my protein shakes this way since I started drinking
them at the beginning of this year. I would put all that fruit in
because I wanted to make sure I was getting a good start on my day with
my 5 fruits and vegetables. My perception of how to get my fruits and
vegetables in was completely WRONG!
She challenged me to actually cook the oats with the milk and put all that fruit and yogurt in the oats and see if I could eat it all. The visual was enough. I pictured a salad bowl FILLED with all this food and me sitting there with this tiny spoon. I did cook the 1/2 cup of oats in the milk, but I only used half a banana and a mango (these one's were actually quite small). I could barely finish the bowl. I was putting WAY to much fruit in my shakes! DANG!
For fun, I looked up how many oranges it would take to make a cup of juice, how many apples it would take, and how many grapes it would take to make a glass of wine (even though I don't drink wine, I was curious.) Here are my results:
So, next time you have a glass of orange juice or apple juice or wine with your meal, just think about how much you would actually be eating if these things weren't juiced. Not to mention all the added sugar.
She challenged me to actually cook the oats with the milk and put all that fruit and yogurt in the oats and see if I could eat it all. The visual was enough. I pictured a salad bowl FILLED with all this food and me sitting there with this tiny spoon. I did cook the 1/2 cup of oats in the milk, but I only used half a banana and a mango (these one's were actually quite small). I could barely finish the bowl. I was putting WAY to much fruit in my shakes! DANG!
For fun, I looked up how many oranges it would take to make a cup of juice, how many apples it would take, and how many grapes it would take to make a glass of wine (even though I don't drink wine, I was curious.) Here are my results:
- 1-2 POUNDS, not separate fruit, POUNDS of oranges to make one glass of orange juice.
- 5-10 apples (depending on the size) to make ONE glass of apple juice.
- 75-100 grapes to make ONE GLASS of wine.
So, next time you have a glass of orange juice or apple juice or wine with your meal, just think about how much you would actually be eating if these things weren't juiced. Not to mention all the added sugar.
Wednesday, August 6, 2014
The "Rules"
So, there are "rules" that I need to follow with this new way of eating. I'm not going to call it a "diet' anymore because, quite frankly, "diet" is a 4 letter word and I want to go to heaven. ;) They aren't hard rules. They are easier to follow than other "diet" rules. And a week after starting to eat this way, it just comes as second nature because NOTHING else sounds good besides the good for you stuff. Here they are, brace yourselves. :)
The greatest thing is, I don't feel like I am "missing out" on the foods that I love! I still eat pizza. I still eat hamburgers. I still eat chips and salsa. We LOVE pasta! And BREAD!!! YUMMY BREAD!!! It's just ALL healthy, whole grain, natural goodness. It CAN be done people!
- Make the bulk of your food grains, lentils, beans, vegetables, and fruit.
- Eat only enough to satisfy hunger.
- This was the harder one for me because I had been eating until I was full for, well, ever since I can remember. It took a little getting used to, but now, I KNOW! And if I over eat? PURE MISERY!!
- Eat breakfast.
- Duh, right?!
- Eat at regular intervals.
- Make two of three meals vegetarian or if necessary lacto-ovo-vegetarian
- We actually eat meat once or twice a week maybe anymore. It has really helped to stretch our $300 bi-weekly budget so that we can stay on budget.
- Eat small portions of meat.
- Think of a portion of meat to be the size of the PALM of your hand, not your whole hand, just the palm. ;)
- Eat foods in their natural state when possible.
- Allow yourself to eat small, healthy snacks between meals.
- I actually set a reminder on my phone to help me remember to eat a snack. Most days I don't need it, but occasionally I do.
- Make WATER your beverage of choice.
- It truly helps if you put citrus in your water. But don't just stop at limes or lemons, try grapefruit or oranges! OR do a mish-mash of the citrus'. Personally, I really enjoy putting essential oils in my water. I'm pretty much addicted to the grapefruit essential oil from doTERRA, which is ironic because that oil can be used to help with addictions. :)
- Avoid refined carbohydrates, concentrated sugars, and fat-fried or processed foods.
- This can be hard. Sugar is in EVERYTHING! (You know that part in Toy Story where Woody's head turns around because "We toys see everything." Ya, that is what I mean by sugar is in everything.)
The greatest thing is, I don't feel like I am "missing out" on the foods that I love! I still eat pizza. I still eat hamburgers. I still eat chips and salsa. We LOVE pasta! And BREAD!!! YUMMY BREAD!!! It's just ALL healthy, whole grain, natural goodness. It CAN be done people!
Tuesday, August 5, 2014
The Beginning
DISCLAIMER: This post is not meant to be preachy. I SWEAR it!!
So, I am a religious woman. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormon, for others out there that don't know what a Latter Day Saint is. I turn to prayer in my times of need. This was a time of need, more desperation really. I was at a loss, conflicted, and truly NOT happy with myself which, in turn, was making my family miserable because I was miserable. I have prayed and pondered for a VERY long time for help and guidance in finding a way to become healthier. Recently, something very simple kept coming back to me as I would pray. It is called, The Word of Wisdom. It is a dietary guideline that was given by revelation to the prophet Joseph Smith. You can read more about it here. It was an answer to my prayers, but I didn't understand it. I thought I WAS living a life that adhered to the Word of Wisdom. My sister, too, has struggled with her weight. SHE called me up one day and was talking to me about this book that she was reading and how it made COMPLETE sense. It is called "The WOW Diet Words of Wisdom, Dietary Enlightenment from Leading World Religions, and Scientific Study". The more I talked to her and thought about it, the more I knew that this was a way to understand the answer I was given. ( I HIGHLY recommend this book. I read the book in a day, it is a very short and light read. I love the author, she is very funny!)
Anyway, the author of the book studied 7 world religions that have dietary guidelines. (All of which pretty much are the same.) The gist of the guidelines are eating more whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds and less meat, sugar, and processed foods. The thing that I thought would be the hardest for me would be "giving up" sugar.....and meat. I actually don't miss it AT ALL. I enlisted my husband in this new adventure and we both sat down with the kids and told them that we were going to start eating better, eating the way God had intended. This was IT!! This was what we needed to be doing, what I NEEDED to be doing.
I started about 5 1/2 weeks ago. (You can follow my progress with the link on the right.) It isn't so much a "diet". I don't feel like I'm on a "diet". I don't measure, weigh, or count my food or calories which I LOVE! That was always such a hassle with other "diets" out there. I HATED IT! Instead, I eat until I am no longer hungry. Instead of sugar, we use honey. And since we don't eat meat every day, our grocery bill has gone down SIGNIFICANTLY! We were struggling to keep our $300 bi-weekly grocery budget, but now, it isn't so much an issue. We buy whole grains in bulk, such as wheat, barley, oats, and quinoa, and we participate in our local food co-op bi-weekly. The only thing we run out of is milk, and who doesn't run out of milk with 6 people living in a home. (My mom lives with us.) ;) It really has been the answer to my prayers.
So, I am a religious woman. I am a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, or Mormon, for others out there that don't know what a Latter Day Saint is. I turn to prayer in my times of need. This was a time of need, more desperation really. I was at a loss, conflicted, and truly NOT happy with myself which, in turn, was making my family miserable because I was miserable. I have prayed and pondered for a VERY long time for help and guidance in finding a way to become healthier. Recently, something very simple kept coming back to me as I would pray. It is called, The Word of Wisdom. It is a dietary guideline that was given by revelation to the prophet Joseph Smith. You can read more about it here. It was an answer to my prayers, but I didn't understand it. I thought I WAS living a life that adhered to the Word of Wisdom. My sister, too, has struggled with her weight. SHE called me up one day and was talking to me about this book that she was reading and how it made COMPLETE sense. It is called "The WOW Diet Words of Wisdom, Dietary Enlightenment from Leading World Religions, and Scientific Study". The more I talked to her and thought about it, the more I knew that this was a way to understand the answer I was given. ( I HIGHLY recommend this book. I read the book in a day, it is a very short and light read. I love the author, she is very funny!)
Anyway, the author of the book studied 7 world religions that have dietary guidelines. (All of which pretty much are the same.) The gist of the guidelines are eating more whole grains, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds and less meat, sugar, and processed foods. The thing that I thought would be the hardest for me would be "giving up" sugar.....and meat. I actually don't miss it AT ALL. I enlisted my husband in this new adventure and we both sat down with the kids and told them that we were going to start eating better, eating the way God had intended. This was IT!! This was what we needed to be doing, what I NEEDED to be doing.
I started about 5 1/2 weeks ago. (You can follow my progress with the link on the right.) It isn't so much a "diet". I don't feel like I'm on a "diet". I don't measure, weigh, or count my food or calories which I LOVE! That was always such a hassle with other "diets" out there. I HATED IT! Instead, I eat until I am no longer hungry. Instead of sugar, we use honey. And since we don't eat meat every day, our grocery bill has gone down SIGNIFICANTLY! We were struggling to keep our $300 bi-weekly grocery budget, but now, it isn't so much an issue. We buy whole grains in bulk, such as wheat, barley, oats, and quinoa, and we participate in our local food co-op bi-weekly. The only thing we run out of is milk, and who doesn't run out of milk with 6 people living in a home. (My mom lives with us.) ;) It really has been the answer to my prayers.
Monday, August 4, 2014
A Little Background
I feel like this is something I need to do. Something that I have been
directed to do. If I touch only one life, then it is worth it.
Ever since I can remember, I have been overweight. I remember when I was around 8 years old I got a cholesterol test done and it was over 200. This was when I was 8. 8! I have been on COUNTLESS diets, even when I was in 3rd grade, and have succeeded, but only for a limited time. Then I would gain it all back and then some. Then I would try the diet again, and would fail.
It wasn't easy being overweight, as many others who have struggled know. My school years were filled with tormenting finger pointing, snickers, loud laughs, and brutal comments: "Here comes the beached whale!", "Ba BOOM! Ba, BOOM! Ba BOOM!", "Fat ass!", etc. etc. It was EVERYWHERE! Elementary School and even at home. It was a never ending hell of which I continued to turn to food for comfort and cried an endless ocean of tears while doing so. Because I lived in an area where those who I went to Elementary School also were in High School, it NEVER let up. Then I got to Jr. High. I became borderline anorexic, only eating 1 meal a day (cereal, toast, and OJ, but only when I got home from school). I lost quite a bit of inches, but not weight. I remember being weighed for my Freshman year in High School and I weighed 190 pounds. The nurse looked at me and said, "You don't look like you weigh 190 pounds." I thought that was cool, because all that mattered to me was that I was in a size 13. Not anymore. I can't get away with that anymore. I'm older and wiser and now I have 6 little eyes watching me. What message am I sending them if I starve myself back to a size 13?
The most important part of this though, is for my children. Know that I LOVE YOU and that you can overcome ANYTHING in your life. I hope and pray that at some point you can look back and be proud of me and the journey I have taken to get healthy, and know that I did it for you.
Ever since I can remember, I have been overweight. I remember when I was around 8 years old I got a cholesterol test done and it was over 200. This was when I was 8. 8! I have been on COUNTLESS diets, even when I was in 3rd grade, and have succeeded, but only for a limited time. Then I would gain it all back and then some. Then I would try the diet again, and would fail.
It wasn't easy being overweight, as many others who have struggled know. My school years were filled with tormenting finger pointing, snickers, loud laughs, and brutal comments: "Here comes the beached whale!", "Ba BOOM! Ba, BOOM! Ba BOOM!", "Fat ass!", etc. etc. It was EVERYWHERE! Elementary School and even at home. It was a never ending hell of which I continued to turn to food for comfort and cried an endless ocean of tears while doing so. Because I lived in an area where those who I went to Elementary School also were in High School, it NEVER let up. Then I got to Jr. High. I became borderline anorexic, only eating 1 meal a day (cereal, toast, and OJ, but only when I got home from school). I lost quite a bit of inches, but not weight. I remember being weighed for my Freshman year in High School and I weighed 190 pounds. The nurse looked at me and said, "You don't look like you weigh 190 pounds." I thought that was cool, because all that mattered to me was that I was in a size 13. Not anymore. I can't get away with that anymore. I'm older and wiser and now I have 6 little eyes watching me. What message am I sending them if I starve myself back to a size 13?
The most important part of this though, is for my children. Know that I LOVE YOU and that you can overcome ANYTHING in your life. I hope and pray that at some point you can look back and be proud of me and the journey I have taken to get healthy, and know that I did it for you.
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