Reckoning

This last week was the kids' spring break. It was also our oldest boy's birthday and Dad had taken the week off so, we decided that we would go to a nearby resort hotel and have some family fun together.

We went to Great Wolf Lodge (GWL) in Colorado Springs. If you aren't familiar with GWL, let me give you a "little" run down. (I say "little" because there isn't anything "little" about this place.) For starters, they have an indoor water park. It is exclusive only to their guests, which is really nice. In addition to the water park, they also have miniature golfing, a suspended ropes course, a rock wall, bowling, an arcade, a little mining station for kids, a scavenger hunt, several activities for the kids throughout the day (kids yoga, dancing, shows, etc. etc.), and this interactive video game called "MagiQuest". I decided I would leave my FitBit at home because I didn't want to lose it taking it off and on to get into the water. BIG MISTAKE! I SWEAR I walked at least 40,000 steps during our 2 night stay there. My feet and glutes hurt SO bad when we got home! Anyway, in addition to over stimulation for the kids, they are also equipped with several places to eat. They had an eatery inside the water park, a breakfast and dinner buffet, a pizzeria, a nice sit down restaurant open for lunch and dinner, a Ben and Jerry's, a candy shop, vending machines, and a Dunkin' Donuts. And they are smart about it too. You come down from the rooms and you immediately see the sit down place and off to the left is the buffet. Then you start heading the direction of the water park and you HAVE to pass the Ben and Jerry's, candy shop, Dunkin' Donuts, AND the pizzeria before you get to the entry to the park. Sheer brilliance. We did have fun though. A lot of exhausting fun.

Going on vacation used to be an "excuse", if you may, to eat whatever you want. "I'm going to eat this because I'm on vacation.", "It doesn't matter because I'm on vacation and I can do what I want." We made it a priority to stick to the plan during our stay. We made sure that our waiters knew that we were dairy free. They were VERY accommodating. The chefs would even come out and walk us through either the buffet or the menu and let us know what had dairy in it. If something had dairy in it that we wanted, they would then make us a special batch and bring it to our table. For instance, the first night (and first meal) there we went to the dinner buffet. They had salmon there that they had put a chipotle ranch on. We asked if they had any that hadn't gotten dressed yet and they didn't think so, BUT they cooked up a special batch of salmon just for us, and it was DELICIOUS. The next morning when we went down for breakfast they had scrambled eggs that they had cooked with butter. They scrambled a batch of eggs just for us without the butter. They really made it quite easy and I didn't feel like I was being picky or a nuisance. The unfortunate thing though were their French Fries. They. Were. Good. I might have eaten one or two......too much.

After our stay I mentioned to my husband how I didn't want to weigh-in because of all the food I ate. I didn't over fill myself. I don't ever recall feeling like I overate, but I knew that some of my choices weren't necessarily the best. He called it the "day of reckoning". How appropriate that is. I did it though. I weighed myself this morning and was pleasantly surprised. I only gained .2! I KNOW that all the walking I did helped with that. (I seriously walked all over that stupid place at least 100 times.) And also making sure we stuck to being dairy-free. When I logged in my weight I looked back over my weigh-ins from my past blogging. The same thing happened my 4th week in when we had gone to Utah for a family vacation. I gained .2 then and I gained .2 now.

There should be no excuse for making poor choices, vacation or no. Taking health seriously means just that, taking it seriously. My sister has lost an amazing amount of weight and she told me that when you go out you need to have a "plan". That you shouldn't deprive yourself of going out and hanging with friends or family because you don't want to "fall off the wagon". Have a plan and STICK to that plan. We had a plan. We stuck to that plan. Yes, I might have had too many French Fries and now I'm seeing the results because of it, but I'm proud of us for sticking to the plan.The day we got home I had a birthday cake to decorate. (I decorate cakes as a business.) There was no food in the house and I was NOT about to make dinner. (I was EXHAUSTED as were my kids!) A local southwest eatery sounded EXTREMELY good to me and when my husband called to ask about dairy-free items we found out that there was more dairy in things that we realized. It wasn't a LOT of dairy, 99% dairy-free, but there was dairy. Broke. My. Heart. But, we still stuck to the plan. We didn't go get food. My husband cooked some pasta and we topped it with what we wanted. It didn't hit the spot like the other food would have, but it did the job and he was my hero for making it. (Thanks again honey!!)

Vacations are about having fun and making memories, not regrets later. Take your health seriously. Have a plan. NO EXCUSES!

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

It has officially been 9 weeks since we went dairy-free and I've started my weight loss journey again. I am already starting to see differences. Not only in myself, but my children as well. I did a similar post back in October of 2014. Some of the changes I'm noticing are the same they were back then: my pants are looser, my shirts are baggier, my tummy is getting flatter, etc. etc. One thing that I've noticed with going dairy-free though is that I am no longer waking up in the middle of the night with stomach cramps and bloating. This has literally been my own personal plague. Every night I would use essential oils to keep the bloating and cramps at bay. It worked fine, but now I don't have to worry about it.

My oldest daughter has had skin issues on the bottom of her feet since I can remember. They crack really deep and often bleed and cause her a lot of pain. They would peel and flake and get kind of "rubbery". I haven't personally looked at her feet lately, but she says that they are clearing up. We've always had to go through a pretty involved process to get her feet to the point where they would be considered healthy.

My second daughter has always had a little "pooch" on her and has also had issues with excessive gas. (I hope she doesn't hate me when she reads this.) When we asked her if she has noticed any differences, her stubborn head strong self said "No." Well, I have. Her tummy is gone. She no longer has the "pooch" she's always had and her butt has shrunk. Not to mention, she is no where near as gassy as she used to be. Let's call this a little miracle.

My almost 7 year old son has been wonderful. With everything placed before him he asks me if it is dairy-free, bless his heart. Also, when he is given treats of ANY kind, he either asks me or his big sisters if he can have it or if it has dairy in it. Before, he would go ahead and eat it without asking. He's such a sweetheart and I'm so proud of him for being aware of the food around him. He is definitely an example to me.

My youngest is 2. He's crazy. The only changes I've noticed in him is that his cheeks don't seem to flare up anymore with redness. They still get dry because we live in Colorado and there is ZERO humidity, but his cheeks used to get SO chapped and red. It was irritating mine just to see his flared up. His diaper rashes aren't as bad either.

I don't know if my husband has noticed any changes, I'll have to ask him. But, overall, I'm very happy to see the changes I'm seeing. Everybody in the house is benefiting from this major change in our lives. 

Breaking Point

Each of us has our "Breaking Point". Well, I hit mine today.

The whole point of this weight loss journey is so that I can be healthier. Healthier and happier, right? I've changed the way I eat and I've changed the kinds of things I eat. I'm losing weight and fitting into my clothes better. I should be happy, right?? So, why am I NOT happy?! I'm working on the physical aspect of becoming healthier, but I haven't been so much working on the emotional and spiritual side of things.

For a while now I have felt completely numb. Numb from the emotions of the day, numb from the spirit that guides me in my daily trials. I'm just numb. In Gary Chapman's "The 5 Love Languages" he mentions a top 3 daily requirement. That everyday you should sit down with your spouse and share 3 emotions or feelings of the day. This helps open the door to a better communicating relationship and also lets your spouse know where you are, how you're feeling, and if there is anything that they can do to help. It's provides a deeper connection. Spencer and I have always had the best of intentions to start this and keep at it, but lately I've thought, "If I were to sit down and pick 3 emotions from the day, what would I even say?!" Lately my response has been, "Tired, overwhelmed, and tired."

My book club recently read "Reading People" by Anne Bogel.  I found it hard to follow because I had never even heard of all these different types of personalities, but that's not the point. There was a section in her book that talked about Enneagrams. At the end of reading the book we all took the personality tests and I found out that my Enneagram is a Type 2. I am a very unhealthy 2. The reason I say that is because of this in the description:

"Because Twos are generally helping others meet their needs, they can forget to take care of their own. This can lead to physical burnout, emotional exhaustion and emotional volatility. Twos need to learn that they can only be of true service to others if they are healthy, balanced and centered in themselves."

In all my efforts to take care of my family, I have completely pushed my needs away to allow time for them. I haven't been allowing myself any "me time"; doing the things that I want, nourishing myself, and working on my emotional and spiritual needs. I have been so busy and overwhelmed taking care of my household's needs and my family's needs, that I haven't even given my needs a second thought. This is not helping me become a healthier me! Am I being selfish in wanting to take care of myself??? In wanting my needs and wants fulfilled??!!

When I got married and started to have kids, I signed up for this. I am a homemaker. It is my duty as a mother and wife to take care of my kids' and my husband's needs. All the time and effort it takes me to do all this, by the end of the day I am completely EXHAUSTED and I just tune out and become numb. This was my realization last night which led to my breaking point today and a pretty ugly morning this morning. I've been expecting my family to fill that empty void in me, especially my husband. How can I expect that void to be filled when I'm not doing anything to fill it? They can't do that for me.

This is where I'm at right now. I don't know what it is I need to do. I get out twice a month to do something I want to do, but that isn't enough. In order for me to be a healthier me, I need to make time for ME! EVERY. DAY. I don't see any other way. I just don't know who I am anymore because I have been numb for so long.

Today in church I gave the Relief Society lesson. (Relief Society is a class for just women 18 years and older.) A friend made the comment, "Who is the most important person in the home?" All of us naturally think the children, right? Well, she continued to say, "Without us, the parents, the children wouldn't even be here. So, who is the most important person in the family? We are." It was like she knew exactly how my morning went. I hadn't even said a word and she read me completely. She helped me see that I am important! That I need to take care of myself. I'm thinking, and praying, that as I start to take care of myself and my needs then the numbness will go away. That I will start to FEEL again.

I AM important. If I can't take care of myself, how can I expect to take care of my family?? An unhealthy me also makes for an unhealthy family. We can eat all the very best foods, be the ideal weight, have the best health results, and still not be healthy if we don't take the time to take care of ourselves. I don't know how I'm going to do this, but I HAVE to.

Size Matters

One of the "rules" of this lifestyle that we have chosen is to eat ONLY until you are no longer hungry. I think it is the hardest out of all the "rules". Sometimes it is such a gray line and you don't know you've over eaten, or not eaten enough, until later. It's really hard to get used to, without feeling like you're starving yourself.

Something I do that helps with making sure I don't over eat is using a smaller plate. I use a small plate for breakfast (when I actually need a plate), for lunch (one of those from IKEA for kids), and for dinner. I've noticed that when I use a big plate, I tend to overeat. I don't put anything on my small plate that won't fit.

I made mango BBQ chicken, potato salad, and broccoli for dinner. I had split each breast into two thinner cutlets which made for a more appropriate size serving. If I want to eat some of everything, I take smaller portions. I do this because if I run out of room on the plate, then I don't eat it. VERY seldom do I take seconds. I also ALWAYS make sure that I finish my water between helpings. This helps the food settle and helps "fill in" where I need it to (so I don't overeat).

The size of plate and serving portions really truly matter! Did you notice a few years ago that most restaurants changed the size of plates they use and their portion sizes? I sure did! I remember getting the plate and thinking, "That's it???!!!"  Now I just expect it and am always FLOORED when it is big enough to feed at least 3 people.

If you struggle with overeating, I HIGHLY recommend changing the size plate you use. It really has made a huge difference with me.

Test Results

So, a couple weeks ago I went in for a biometric screening. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically a fasting blood test where they check my glucose, triglycerides, and cholesterol and then they take my vitals. (We got an extra $300 in our FSA for doing it.) Well, my test results came back and it all looked great except my triglycerides.

I went in to see my doctor and he told me that people would pay to have my cholesterol levels (that made me feel good), and that my triglycerides were slightly elevated. That was such a relief! The lab made it seem like I was at the top of the scale at 201, but turns out that it could actually be in the thousands! I walked away from that appointment feeling pretty darn good about myself and the health choices I have made in my life. Especially when he told me that when he had seen me earlier in the week he had thought to himself that I had to have lost some weight. He told me to keep it up and that I weighed less now than I have in the past 5 years, according to his records. I think that was the very first time I have EVER walked out of the doctors office feeling good about myself!

Choosing a healthy lifestyle most certainly pays off!! I'm so grateful that I'm choosing to be healthy.