Seeing the GOOD

A couple weeks ago I went to a retreat here in Denver for Essential Oils.  It was an awesome 24 hours. One thing they talked about was personality types. I had no idea what type I was! I felt like that this was something I needed to do.  This goes back to the question, "Who am I?"

It is interesting to me that people tend to guess what kind of personality type others/I am: white, circle, type 2, etc etc.  Then when I ask them what it means, the description I get is NOTHING like me. It has always intrigued me to find out what type I was, but I've never taken the time to sit down and figure it out.  AND WHERE can I figure it out? (I'm one of those, "Ask me questions and I will answer them." kind of people.)  I see people post how proud they are to be an "introvert" and I think to myself, "What IS an introvert?" Finding out what personality type I am, to me, is the first step to figuring out WHO I am.  So, I found this test online.  I liked it, it wasn't too long and the description I got seems pretty spot on.  This is what I got:

Extraverted Feeling personality types seek continuity through harmonious relationships and collective values. They excel at picking up on the tone of a situation and acting accordingly, adding warmth to a cool setting or turning sour into sweet.

Inclusiveness is important and they are particularly sensitive to those who are excluded.

Harmony comes from good, supportive relationships and upholding collective values. They are always focused on the other person, feeling a glow when those around them are happy, and troubled when something is amiss. They are natural cheerleaders, often expressing support, gratitude, and encouragement, and heaping praise onto those they appreciate. They take note of what is being done and what needs doing, offering their help and assistance wherever necessary.

They are loyal and they expect loyalty. They carry conversations well, finding common ground with their speaker. They tend to find the correct and gracious way to respond in any given situation, no matter how tense or uncomfortable it is. 

It is well to note that extraverted feeling types will uphold a wide range of values, simply because shared values are what create harmony. Some will profess the importance of tough-minded logic, justice and scholarly debate because their environments have these shared values. They tend to adopt the collective values of those they love and 'belong to'.

I've always dwelt on the negatives, "This type is the pushover.", "This type is bossy.", but it is refreshing to actually SEE the positives and recognize them in myself.  When I get asked what my best qualities are, I always look to my friends and family to answer.  I've never known my best qualities because, growing up, I never was told anything positive about me.  Somehow, I always felt like I was being prideful if I started to think of the good in me.  How does that happen??!!  Where a person can't see the good in themselves because of feeling like they don't deserve to see it, or that it is wrong to see it.

I told myself, that when I became a mother, I would tell my children everyday how much I love them and that I would tell them all the good I see in them and also let them know that I believe in them.  I didn't want them to turn out like me, with nothing but self doubt and zero self esteem. I LOVE my children.  So much so my heart aches from it being so full of love for them.  They are my world and my light.  They are each SO different, which is awesome because it keeps me on my toes. It is my responsibility to teach them to see the good in themselves and others. This way, when they are asked what their best quality is, they can say without hesitation and without having to look at others.  After all, the good in us IS what shapes our personalities.